/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Only show posts with narrations

A man was being eaten by cannibals, and said, "Are you shitting me!?" And one of the cannibals said, "Eventually."

171 upvotes

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The tape worm will eat all the food inside me, helping me lose weight!

169 upvotes

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My friend drew her eyebrows on too high.

167 upvotes

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When your pee is red,

160 upvotes

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The following joke is so funny that the US Government is jumping through all sorts of hoops to delete it from the internet.

145 upvotes

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My girlfriend is screaming at the guy driving the black and white car, with those fun blue and red lights

144 upvotes

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Once you're dead we'll remove your organs for donation, okay? NSFW

142 upvotes

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Now Trumps gone he can fulfill his promise

140 upvotes

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I am fortunate my daughter hasn't been infected with the zombie virus that has claimed the rest of my family.

138 upvotes

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How do you keep a moron in suspense?

138 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
A man was being eaten by cannibals, and said, "Are you shitting me!?" And one of the cannibals said, "Eventually."	171
The tape worm will eat all the food inside me, helping me lose weight!	169
My friend drew her eyebrows on too high.	167
When your pee is red,	160
The following joke is so funny that the US Government is jumping through all sorts of hoops to delete it from the internet.	145
My girlfriend is screaming at the guy driving the black and white car, with those fun blue and red lights	144
Once you're dead we'll remove your organs for donation, okay? NSFW	142
Now Trumps gone he can fulfill his promise	140
I am fortunate my daughter hasn't been infected with the zombie virus that has claimed the rest of my family.	138
How do you keep a moron in suspense?	138